If you've decided to go old school and, out of respect, ask her parents for their blessing to marry their daughter, that's commendable. Even though the “blessing” is traditionally supposed to come from the father, we think it’s a great idea to include your girlfriend’s mother as well. So, we were wondering if the guy should ask the … The asking will have to be via phone to both of them. Is she really independent, for women’s rights, and untraditional. If you feel her parents think it's important one way or another, make sure your focus is on your future wife. Check out our expert's opinion If they are non-traditional, or you are worried they (or she) might see it as a sexist gesture, simply be careful about the way you phrase it. I respectfully and sincerely ask for your blessing. Find out what their reasoning is if you can. If you live close by, the easiest thing to do is to call and ask if you can stop by for a moment as you have something to ask them. Now it’s time to PROPOSE! I think it's common to think that you have to ask them but where I live in North Carolina, U.S., it doesn't seem like a big deal. They can be together when you ask, or after your meeting or phone call with the father you can call up their mom and share the big news and also tell them how much her blessing would mean to you. how to ask my dominican girlfriends parents blessing for me to marry her. All my love, Arthur John Posted by madhatter at 1:55 PM . The questions isn't should I ask, I agree its an outdated somewhat creepy tradition that should probably end, however she wants me to and thats what matters. Then family is very important in my life. Labels: Approval of Wedding from Future In-Laws, fiance parents approval of engagement, hand in marriage, inlaws approval, mom and dad blessing, permission to marry, traditional blessing from parents… We have been dating for 2 years now and we are at that point where we know we would like to marry. The thing is her parents are divorced and live in two different states. Home Q&A how to ask my dominican girlfriends parents blessing for me to marry her. While my wife and I were dating, I had the opportunity to visit her parents on several occasions. Nina Callaway is a longtime freelance writer with over 15 years of experience. You don’t want to get your girlfriend’s father’s blessing to marry his daughter, just to have his daughter turn you down when you propose. 2. Whilst it’s not exactly a fork in the road, what you do during this time could dictate how smooth … I am very excited about this and want to ask … You'll probably want to tell your girlfriend what happened, but try to avoid seeming like you are asking her to take sides. Tell him that you’ll always honor, respect, and cherish his daughter. Although you may not want to blatantly ask your partner if they’d like you … We are doing everything old school marriage before sex and all. Let her explain it to her parents if they are upset after your engagement – she's their daughter, and if she explains it to them, they will understand why you didn't ask them first. 1. Her father passed away about three years ago. If you're absolutely sure she will say yes to your … I believe in asking for a blessing from the parents before the actual proposal. He was so nervous he almost didn't go through with it. I would have been pissed at my SO if he had asked for anyone's blessing. I don't actually need their permission but she would want me to get it because her family is very close and fairly traditional, Try seducing her mum (or dad) then ask afterwards, try and slip it naturally into pillow-talk . If you are friends with them, you might see if they want to go out to dinner, but since this will be rather nerve-racking, it might be better to keep it short and sweet. 2 Answers. We have been talking about marriage and it is going to happen in a few months!!! When to ask girlfriend's parents for blessing? First ask yourself if that is something your GF would want. This is a good opportunity to ask for advice on proposing and marriage, too. If her parents do not want to give you their blessing, try to stay calm. This holiday season we are flying home to be with the folks and probably will not see them until after we get engaged. 6. I am planning on proposing to my girlfriend (she knows it's coming just not when). Press J to jump to the feed. When you have strange, weird, embarrassing question, and there's no one else to ask. If you think your GF is not able to make that decision for herself.... but if a guy did that to me for my daughter, i would tell him the same thing. How do you ask for her father’s blessing? But asking his girlfriend to marry him wasn't the problem; what was making him weak in the knees was asking her father "Will you give your blessing?". I'm pretty positive they like me and am not anxious about the end result, I just don't know how to start the conversation and what to say. In 2014, the guys most likely to ask for permission are those least likely to need it. This can go several ways. By Jill Filipovic. Dec 13, 2018 - If you want to ask permission before popping the question, follow this guide on how to ask for your lover's parents' blessing for your engagement. As I like the thought of asking for her parents blessing I will be doing this. There are a lot of factors to consider. No compromise. You could ask your parents to talk to her parents. My parents disapprove, and say they will only give their blessing when I am finished with school. 0. votes. They'll probably suspect, but that's okay as it will give them time to be prepared and know what to say. This holiday season we are flying home to be with the folks and probably will not see them until after we get engaged. That will surely break the … A Final Thought. If her family are more liberal, it may be more appropriate to ask both her father and mother for their blessing. Posted by 11 hours ago. If you feel that your girlfriend is super independent and doesn't like the idea of asking her parents for permission because it's her choice, then don't ask. Then contact them. Once I have found out her ring size I will purchase the ring as I have already seen one she will like. We both live in California, but our family lives in NH. Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. If you know she is traditional or would want that, then yes, you should very much ASK, it helps build respect between you and her parents. It's not a sign of respect. We have discussed it at length for at least a year now so I don't doubt she will say yes. Her dad and the rest of her family absolutely love me but her mom is the exact opposite. You go from boyfriend to fiancé, and from outsider to family-member. 5. 1. vote. More posts from the TooAfraidToAsk community. For example, you might say, "As you know, I love your daughter very much. Signs He's About to Propose 1. Love & Dating. First I would have asked my Girlfriend if it was OK to ask her parents for their permission to marry before I asked them. (Mature Resp.)? How do I ask my girlfriends parents for their blessing to marry their daughter? Depends on the parent and your girlfriend. Introducing "One Thing": A New Video Series. Don’t mention any negativity that might hang between you and her parents, or her and her parents. Have a man-to-man conversation with her dad. share. Ask if you can treat them to a meal/outing/whatever. What type of girlfriend do you have. Respectfully ask for his blessing to marry his little girl (but don't refer to her as such). Ultimately I would put this all on the table for my girlfriend … Whether your parents expect your partner to ask for your hand in marriage or not, it's still something to consider. Situations where you shouldn't ask include if she is estranged from her parents, if she is an older bride, or if you think her parents will spoil the surprise of your proposal. Her family is also expecting it and they think we are a good couple so they will not be surprised. Here's how to make your meeting (or phone convo) go smoothly, without any regrets on anyone's part. (Mature Resp.)? Ask for his blessing to propose marriage. I'm pretty positive they like me and am not anxious about the end result, I just don't know how to start the conversation and what to say . Start by saying a sentence or two about your love for their daughter. The only problem that may occur is that her mother wants her to be a independent person until she is 30 or so. Be sure to ask both parents, unless of course she is estranged from one. I hope you would allow me and find me worthy to marry your daughter. Asking for a parent's blessing or permission was once a standard part of an engagement. Obviously I’ll also make sure her mother is OK with it as well. It would be extremely hard for me to be excluded from my wives family and to cause discord in her family. You might not convince her dad to give his blessing, but he might feel … I have a question about asking my girlfriend's parents permission or blessing to marry their daughter.I am a 23 year old college student dating a 22 year college student. Here’s how to talk to your girlfriend’s father about getting married: Make sure you and your GF are on the same page about marriage. You'll probably want to tell your girlfriend what happened, but try to avoid seeming like you are asking her to take sides. Be respectful. Before you decide to ask your girlfriend's parents for their daughter's hand in marriage, consider what you know about them and if this is something that they will expect or even appreciate. This is always a possibility, but fortunately not a very frequent one. Focus on what you came to do. When you ask for your partner’s father’s blessing, the relationship immediately changes. Keep it PG. Be brave and ask your own parents if her parents could call them with any questions about your character. Give them a chance to express their concerns and consider their words carefully, advises Liz Moorhead with the wedding planning organization A Practical Wedding. Ask her for advice. So, we were wondering if the guy should ask the … Explain your wish to marry his daughter. We have been talking about marriage and it is going to happen in a few months!!! Simple, but sweet. How do I ask my girlfriends parents for their blessing to marry their daughter? Soon I plan to ask my girlfriend for her hand in marriage. Alternatives and Modern Ways to Give Away the Bride. Her mother is over over protective (i cant stress how much in words) of her daughters but mainly my girl is … It's a deeply sexist practice. You could also start with the parent you think is the most approachable, especially if you are nervous. I actually heard one father tell the guy asking that if his daughter knew he was being asked then she would probably not say yes. Your girlfriend’s parents love her and want to see her happy, but you might not be the man that they dreamed their darling girl would marry. Don't Ask Your Girlfriend's Dad if You Can Marry Her. i am not familier with thier customs. Meet the parents first if you can. I would like to ask her to marry me and I'm here today to ask you for your blessing." Get our free wedding checklist when you sign up for our newsletter. I plan to ask for her mother's blessing for the marriage. I get on with her parents very well and I know they will be … Her parents are very traditional and her father is not the friendliest man (despite dating her for 4 years.. he's just not very friendly to anyone, not just me). If you’re considering asking your girlfriend’s or boyfriend’s parents for a blessing on your impending marriage, make sure you follow these tips and you’ll be on the path to a great conversation with the people who will hopefully be your future in-laws! 3. Instead of asking permission, simply explain your wish to spend the rest of your life with his daughter. Should they live far away, try to call at a time when you think they'll be home. Close. We are deeply in love and want to take the next step in our relationship. When you guys are having a good time let them know you want to propose and would like their blessing. Try your best to understand where they are coming from, and to appreciate that it is almost certainly a position of love for their daughter. She specializes in weddings, travel, and visual and performing arts. Avoid sneaking around. We both live in California, but our family lives in NH. Hi guys I will be asking my girlfriend to marry me in April this year when we are on holiday. Try to meet him before you ask. If Her Parents Are Divorced, Which Parent Should You Approach First? Memorable Father of the Bride Wedding Toasts, Valentine's Day Gifts for Engaged Couples, Applying for a Marriage License in Kentucky. updated Oct 14, 2009. posted by jgbravo56. Respect … Then say something about why you feel now is the time to move the relationship to the next level and follow it by asking for their blessing. I think if someone really wanted to ask, like if it was important to them to have my parents' blessing, I wouldn't be upset. She was the first one that should know and respond. Generally, it's a nice gesture, assuming your sweetheart is close with her parents and that they are relatively traditional. It's also nerve-wracking, stressful, and scary. 4657 views. There isn't an easy answer to this question, but we suggest that you start with the parent that she has lived with the most. Rather than asking for their permission, ask for their blessing. I was raised with old-fashioned values, and so that moment will mean almost as much to me as actually asking my girlfriend to marry me. If her parents are still married, and you happen to call at a time when only one is available, simply say that you have something you want to ask them, but would like to wait until you can ask them both together, and when would be a good time to do so. All he needed to do was ask a simple question, five little words, and yet at the time, they seemed to be the five most momentous words ever. Now asking for a woman's hand in marriage is sometimes viewed as an antiquated practice or a misogynistic ritual. they only speak spanish ,i only speak english. If her parents do not want to give you their blessing, try to stay calm. The only thing I am absolutely positive of is that I will ask her father (or closest male relative) for his blessing in marrying his daughter (or niece, sister, etc.). 22 comments. Here are a few tips to live by when meeting your SO's parents for the very first time, especially if you're still getting to know them. This is an old tradition that some parents might see as essential, while others might not expect at all. - Don’t ask anyway if she expresses disdain towards the tradition. If it’s possible, try to meet your girlfriend’s parents a few times before you decide you want to marry her. … Ask both parents when you see them — elder deference > male deference — and ask them to keep a lid on it, though I recommend proposing immediately afterward and … I must have my education first — those are their terms. Culture, individual opinion, religion, etc. Decide together whether it is better to wait until you can earn their blessing (perhaps they just want you to finish school or have a steady job before you can get married) or go against their wishes. I am, in many ways, a traditional person. 1. Did you (or your husband if you are a woman) ask the bride-to-be's parents permission or blessings before popping the question? Love & Dating. Aug 29, 2017 Getty Images. When to ask girlfriend's parents for blessing? Communicate with Your Partner Beforehand. If that is the case then you may want to check whether or not she wants you to ask her father. I am going to propose soon and am not sure how to approach this. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I have already planned how I'm going to ask her. (They say we are too young, too immature, and need to wait; God doesn’t rush things, and that if us being together is meant to be, then our separation will only make us stronger.) Ask how big her dowry is. Decide together whether it is better to wait until you can earn their blessing (perhaps they just want you to finish school or have a steady job before … If your home life isn’t great and don’t think your parents could speak well of your character, you could ask another trusted adult in your life to talk to her parents if necessary. She is the most beautiful, intelligent and loving woman a man could ever ask for. You and your sweetie are likely well into adulthood, so you may think that asking for a blessing is unnecessary. But if done correctly, it can be a beautiful meaningful moment and opportunity to both honor and bond with your future in-laws. What's the Significance of the Maid of Honor? Ya I know its something she wants, just because of the tradition of it. 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